Home Watercooler
Welcome to the new Diaspora forums, please let us know if you see anything broken! Notice: Some users may need to reupload their avatars due to an issue during forum setup!

[Humor] Notable Quotes

123457

Comments

  • Lambda217Lambda217 Registered, Moderator Posts: 534
    woothie wrote:
    Who needs college savings when you have internet spaceships, right?

    what idiot would be idiot enough to buy non-working internet spaceships

    M0hK6tR.jpg

    oh no where did that image come from

    1WGndnf.jpg

    i can't stop them they're all pouring out of my pockets

    QDI1gQB.png

    heelllllllp


    "I want you to show this world what it means to fear the sky."
  • SteeveeoSteeveeo Registered, Administrator Posts: 849
    Great Leader Kevin: Why am I getting script terror.
    
  • SteeveeoSteeveeo Registered, Administrator Posts: 849
    Cadets, amirite?
    kdd40(sad)(Winter Avatar): I'm new.
    kdd40(sad)(Winter Avatar): I need help.
    Err: Read the motd?
    "kdd40(sad)(Winter Avatar)" disconnected (reason "Disconnect by user.")
    
  • SteeveeoSteeveeo Registered, Administrator Posts: 849
    Is it just me or are the cadets getting weirder?



    (Also pasting as an attachment because the forum HATES the wingding characters)
    wot.png 33.1K
  • LtBrandonLtBrandon Registered, Administrator Posts: 507
    Hackharvester: Thats right folks, buy this fusion reactor and you get a FREE fuck. Get yours now.
    Lλmbdλ: ????????????
    Hackharvester: Its a joke.
    Lλmbdλ: ?????????????????????
    This is a block of text that can be added to posts you make. There is a 255 character limit.

    Lλmbdλ: donations for coding the space future of diaspora :>

    Get your extra long EVE trial here!
  • SteeveeoSteeveeo Registered, Administrator Posts: 849
    That moment when you're known as such a lua_run troll that you get blamed for things on reflex:
    Lambda: Make a giant ascii butt. 
    Lambda: I'M ASCENDING.
    Lambda: STEEVEEO.
    Lambda: HE'S TO BLAME.
    


    EDIT: And then this happened:
    Lambda: I'll try parenting 2 ragdolls to each other to fix this bug.
    Lambda: It'll do SOMETHING.
    server_cvar: "sbox_maxprop_ragdoll" "1"
    Lambda: Oh I have only one.
    server_cvar: "sbox_admin_nolimits" "1"
    Lambda: Whoops.
    Lambda: Indeed.
    Lambda: These charples scared me when I was tiny and first played hl2.
    Lambda: I got scared they'd get up when my back was turned and come after me.
    Lambda: Now it's dancing.
    HLSW NOTE: Disconnected
    
  • KanzukeKanzuke Registered, Moderator Posts: 181
    ckeygraham: I have a gyropod.
    ckeygraham: Veghicles and space build enghancment.
    ckeygraham: In the spawn menu.
    ckeygraham: In the veghicles section.
    ckeygraham: And space build enghancment.
    ckeygraham: No problem.
    [...]
    ckeygraham: Prepair for takoff.
    [...]
    ckeygraham: Thats a wire one.
    ckeygraham: A wirless one.
    ckeygraham: Not a wire one.
    ckeygraham: And it has to face forword.
    ckeygraham: And be welded.
    ckeygraham: Oh.
    ckeygraham: My gyropod is diffrent for some resen.
    [...]
    ckeygraham: YOUR GUYRO IS BACKWORDS.
    ckeygraham: TURN THE GYRO.
    ckeygraham: Unweld it.
    ckeygraham: With z.
    Dr.Krieger: Z.
    ckeygraham: Hold e and move your mouse.
    ckeygraham: Ill meat you at the other earth.
    [...]
    ckeygraham: XD.
    ckeygraham: It is a veghicle.
    [...]
    ckeygraham: 1 can control a intire space stashion.
    [...]
    ckeygraham: It gouse where you look.
    ckeygraham: Fallow me.
    ckeygraham: Hit shift.
    ckeygraham: Ore.
    ckeygraham: D ore a.
    [...]
    ckeygraham: The ship is a veghicle.

    His ship:
    95aff8dd9252409285cf6646716fdbdf.jpg

    Lambda217: oh oh i am kanzuke and i love my little pony and now i'll make all the brandonphysics myself cause i know fuckin everything because now i'll make a big pony fighter drone squad and a big fuckin portal ship and i am a fuckin idiot
  • SteeveeoSteeveeo Registered, Administrator Posts: 849
    What even...
    Smittywarbenjagermanjansen: /y WHEN I GET CLOSE TO THE GROUND BAIL OUT!!!
    Smittywarbenjagermanjansen: Sorry.
    Clakattack: O.O.
    Smittywarbenjagermanjansen: Binds.
    

    EDIT: Just going to start a list of these things...
    Dark_Assassin: /advert Happy Birthday Morkare!!!!
    Dark_Assassin: Going to explore.
    Dark_Assassin: Oops bind.
    
  • KanzukeKanzuke Registered, Moderator Posts: 181
    There is no way to adequately transcribe this, so just click the thing.

    Crinkle.

    Lambda217: oh oh i am kanzuke and i love my little pony and now i'll make all the brandonphysics myself cause i know fuckin everything because now i'll make a big pony fighter drone squad and a big fuckin portal ship and i am a fuckin idiot
  • SteeveeoSteeveeo Registered, Administrator Posts: 849
    Still breaking things in new and exciting ways.
    Razor9511 disconnected (reason "<07><1C>?}?}}?<05>?ÁT"<01>5<02>7b<10><19>I<0D> <08>")
    
  • LtBrandonLtBrandon Registered, Administrator Posts: 507
    11:41 AM - It's Hob-Noon.: you should come in here(teamspeak), because that will surly boost productivity
    11:41 AM - It's Hob-Noon.: D
    11:42 AM - Łτ•βЃĄЙĐΘИ-: do you want your fucking cheeseburger factory or not?
    11:42 AM - It's Hob-Noon.: SHIT NEVER MIND
    11:42 AM - It's Hob-Noon.: WORK ON BRANDON
    11:42 AM - It's Hob-Noon.: WORK ON
    This is a block of text that can be added to posts you make. There is a 255 character limit.

    Lλmbdλ: donations for coding the space future of diaspora :>

    Get your extra long EVE trial here!
  • SteeveeoSteeveeo Registered, Administrator Posts: 849
    [IPE] Long Dick: Wow you live on long island kanzuke.
    Kanzuke: What.
    [IPE] Long Dick: You live in south hampton newyork long island.
    [IPE] Long Dick: Correct?
    Kanzuke: Totally, yep.
    Steeveeo: Lol.
    Kanzuke: Is a nice island.
    Kanzuke: Very long.
    Kanzuke: No other notable features.
    Kanzuke: Has a pretty cool flag as well.
    Kanzuke: Being an island.
    [IPE] Long Dick: I live in long island new york -_-\
    Steeveeo: Hey kanz, how do you feel about the Boston Tea Party?
    [IPE] Long Dick disconnected
    

    No idea why this random cadet thought Kanz lives in New York...
  • SteeveeoSteeveeo Registered, Administrator Posts: 849
    Another one for the weird-ass cadet accidental bind hit list:
    Mr. Vizzy: "[bw]Mexican Li[rainbow]kes Apple [gray]I Hate People That Say They Hate Mexicans Ya Racist's"
    Mr. Vizzy: "Wopps."
    Mr. Vizzy: "A bind."
    
  • SteeveeoSteeveeo Registered, Administrator Posts: 849
    Hob and I discussing the science behind Spacebuild
    12:48 AM - Steeveeo: how menacing does this description sound?
    12:48 AM - Steeveeo: GM:AddResourceType("Polonium Nitrate", 1, "Cargo", 1, "models/slyfo_2/mortarsys_incen.mdl", "models/slyfo_2/mortarsys_incen.mdl", 2,
    "An inexplicable freak of nature. A seed crystal, under the right conditions, can explosively precipitate outwards. Constantly emits highly toxic polonium nitroxide gas.")
    12:49 AM - Hobnob: neat
    12:49 AM - Hobnob: sounds like something puff would have EVERYWHERE
    12:49 AM - Hobnob: or try to weaponsie
    12:50 AM - Steeveeo: replacing "toxic" with "corrosive"
    12:50 AM - Steeveeo: sounds better
    12:50 AM - Hobnob: yeah, does it do damage to ships atm?
    12:50 AM - Steeveeo: no damage at all, currently
    12:50 AM - Steeveeo: will be fixed soon(tm)
    12:51 AM - Steeveeo: also also, "nitroxide" is apparently a thing, but nothing seems to want to define what that ACTUALLY is, chemically
    12:51 AM - Steeveeo: so more pseudoscience, woo
    12:52 AM - Hobnob: no2?
    12:52 AM - Hobnob: err
    12:52 AM - Steeveeo: also, heh
    12:52 AM - Steeveeo: searching for "polonium nitroxide" says "Did you mean: polonium NITRATE?"
    12:56 AM - Hobnob: PoNO
    12:56 AM - Hobnob: heh.
    12:56 AM - Steeveeo: :V
    12:56 AM - Steeveeo: P-Oh NOOOO
    12:57 AM - Hobnob: polonium hydroxide
    12:57 AM - Steeveeo: Hydrogen Polonide
    12:57 AM - Hobnob: xD
    12:59 AM - Hobnob: here we go
    12:59 AM - Hobnob: N4O12Po2
    12:59 AM - Steeveeo: oh lord what the fuck is that
    12:59 AM - Hobnob: it was anoying me it wasnt balanced
    12:59 AM - Hobnob: polonium nitrate
    12:59 AM - Hobnob: thats what it would be if you actually managed to make it
    1:00 AM - Hobnob: http://www.chemspider.com/Chemical-Structure.21162306.html
    1:01 AM - Hobnob: polonium tetranitrate
    1:01 AM - Hobnob: technicaly its this
    1:01 AM - Hobnob: but PN cant exist
    1:02 AM - Hobnob: so yeah
    1:02 AM - Steeveeo: yay, my "Inexplicable Freak of Nature" line can stay!
    1:02 AM - Hobnob: yeah ptn is the closest you can actually get
    


    EDIT:
    1:07 AM - Steeveeo: side note:
    
    GM:AddResourceType("Energy", 1, "Energy", 0, "models/items/car_battery01.mdl", "models/items/car_battery01.mdl", 1, 
    "Energy, voltage, amperage, watts, NRG, zapitude; a resource with many names, all of which determine if your guns are firing and your lifesupport will turn on.")
    1:07 AM - Hobnob: xD
    1:08 AM - Hobnob: renaming all displays to zapitude
    
  • SteeveeoSteeveeo Registered, Administrator Posts: 849
    What it's like to have Clakattack on your friends list:
    Friday, June 10, 2016
    12:03 AM - Clakattack: STEVEEO
    12:03 AM - Clakattack: STEVEEO
    1:38 AM - Clakattack: STEEVEEO
    1:39 AM - Clakattack: y u snooze
    10:00 AM - Clakattack: seelp flali
    
  • SteeveeoSteeveeo Registered, Administrator Posts: 849
    While talking about dissections in high school over Teamspeak:
    Razor9511: It smelled like pure death, but it was nice.
    
  • KanzukeKanzuke Registered, Moderator Posts: 181
    -{I.T.O.S.}- Pepethecat: IM ON THE MOON.
    [SBRP] - -{I.T.O.S.}- Pepethecat spawned models/lt_c/flagpole.mdl
    -{I.T.O.S.}- Pepethecat: I SET A FLAG ON THE MOON!
    Kanzuke: XD.
    -{I.T.O.S.}- Pepethecat: MY MOON! GET YOUR OWN FUCKERS.
    Kanzuke: Moon is claimed by cat-kind.
    -{I.T.O.S.}- Pepethecat: Exactly.
    -{I.T.O.S.}- Pepethecat: THE EARTH LIKE PLANET IS ALSO MINE NOW.
    -{I.T.O.S.}- Pepethecat was killed by sbep_base_door_controller
    Warning: killicon not found 'sbep_base_door_controller'
    -{I.T.O.S.}- Pepethecat: NVM.
    Kanzuke: Uh huh?
    Kanzuke: XD.
    -{I.T.O.S.}- Pepethecat: MY SHIP KILLED ME.
    -{I.T.O.S.}- Pepethecat: TRAITOR.

    EDIT: Bonus nocontext
    Lλmbdλ: You know I was so caught up in the porn VIs I didn't think to wonder why that laptop just shouted at me and exploded.
    Lλmbdλ: I just kind of take it in stride now.

    Lambda217: oh oh i am kanzuke and i love my little pony and now i'll make all the brandonphysics myself cause i know fuckin everything because now i'll make a big pony fighter drone squad and a big fuckin portal ship and i am a fuckin idiot
  • KanzukeKanzuke Registered, Moderator Posts: 181
    So after Puff had been fighting with some very weird bugs with his E2 Spawned test ship for a good while, and we'd just accepted that the PlayX queue's ".request" chat command had stopped responding for reasons unknown, I had the bright idea to put videos in a playlist and request that, since that function should still work. This is what I got:
    25817c3322.png

    Then the E2 tick quota'd. Meanwhile, in the console:
    Kanzuke: .requestplaylist PLAJgpc182-Fso6mxQUO4fZJdG6z02IY3g.
    Invalid VideoID for Chunk "snippet": {
    "title": "Vylet Pony - Fall To The Clouds (Knife Pony Remix)"
    },
    "contentDetails": {
    "videoId": "yL1NeUkHJ5c"
    :::
    TargetE2Ent = [NULL Entity]
    WepsE2Ent = [NULL Entity]
    ShipConE2Ent = [NULL Entity]Invalid VideoID for Chunk "snippet": {
    "title": "Diamonds (Vylet Remix) | Silva Hound"
    },
    "contentDetails": {
    "videoId": "oJyGZbirsDE"
    ::: TargetE2Ent = [NULL Entity]WepsE2Ent = [NULL Entity]



    ShipConE2Ent = [NULL Entity][PlayX Queue] Durations Fetched[PlayX Queue] Loading next batch of durations...


    [HTML] :1: Uncaught SyntaxError: Unexpected token ILLEGAL
    [HTML] :1: Uncaught SyntaxError: Unexpected token ILLEGAL
    sv: Expression 2 (PlayXQ): tick quota exceeded

    That is the output from the HTML request (shouldn't be printed) merged with some of Puff's E2's variables (definitely shouldn't be printed).

    EDIT: IT'S FUCKING REPRODUCEABLE.

    Lambda217: oh oh i am kanzuke and i love my little pony and now i'll make all the brandonphysics myself cause i know fuckin everything because now i'll make a big pony fighter drone squad and a big fuckin portal ship and i am a fuckin idiot
  • KanzukeKanzuke Registered, Moderator Posts: 181
    To add to the collection of weird RP binds...
    Berserker: /me turns his head to the left, raising his right arm.
    Berserker: Fuck rp binds.
    Kanzuke: ...what were you planning on doing with that right arm?
    Berserker: Some nazi faction.
    Kanzuke: Oh... o-okay...

    Lambda217: oh oh i am kanzuke and i love my little pony and now i'll make all the brandonphysics myself cause i know fuckin everything because now i'll make a big pony fighter drone squad and a big fuckin portal ship and i am a fuckin idiot
  • SteeveeoSteeveeo Registered, Administrator Posts: 849
    Another for the pile...
    vurdel[ʎŁ]: fuck you you use cheap wepons use fas NON KILLING FLOOR
    vurdel[ʎŁ]: Oops.
    Steeveeo: ...?
    Lλmbdλ: /dropmoney 5
    vurdel[ʎŁ]: XD.
    Lλmbdλ: Oh, it was i!
    Lλmbdλ: All along!
    Steeveeo: Vurdel was that a bind?
    vurdel[ʎŁ]: Yes for build to kill server.
    
  • KanzukeKanzuke Registered, Moderator Posts: 181
    Cadets have a special talent that allows them to write to the chat without reading a single incoming message.
    SlamduncAZ: KANZUKE!
    Kanzuke: I'm Kanzuke.
    SlamduncAZ: I had a sccuessful space mission.
    Kanzuke: :D
    Lλmbdλ: He did.
    [...]
    SlamduncAZ: HELP ME!
    SlamduncAZ: IM STRANDED ON AN ALIEN PLANET WITH A HOSTILE ATMOSPHERE!
    Kanzuke: AIE.
    SlamduncAZ: I have 6 min left of oxygen.
    Lλmbdλ: I guess that's enough time to spawn my ship.
    Kanzuke: Otherwise blood will have to rescue us.
    Kanzuke: ...with torpedoes.
    [...]
    SlamduncAZ: 4 min left.
    [...]
    Lλmbdλ: Well i've been to like every planet.
    Kanzuke: The city planet lambda!
    Lλmbdλ: The most fitting enviroment for this ship design.
    Lλmbdλ: Don't run away from your rescue ship.
    Lλmbdλ: DON'T DO THE DEATH LIFT.
    Kanzuke: Shit I was wondering what that horrible noise was.
    Kanzuke: Aie.
    Kanzuke suicided!
    Kanzuke: Out of air.
    Kanzuke: Run Slam!
    Kanzuke: Save yourself!
    Lλmbdλ: Come into my spaceship.
    Lλmbdλ: Party every day.
    Lλmbdλ: Also there's water here.
    SlamduncAZ: I ONLY HAVE 1 MIN LEFT OF AIR!
    Lλmbdλ: WELL GET IN.
    Lλmbdλ: INSTEAD OF FLEEING FROM THE OXYGEN.
    Lλmbdλ: SUIT'S ON THE WALL.
    SlamduncAZ: 50 sec.
    Lλmbdλ: Doors are fake just run -
    Lλmbdλ: GET IN.
    SlamduncAZ: 40.
    Lλmbdλ: WHY.
    Lλmbdλ: I'LL SHOOT YOU MYSELF IF YOU DON'T.
    SlamduncAZ: 30.
    SlamduncAZ: 20.
    SlamduncAZ: 10.
    Zxvnm4: Fin.
    SlamduncAZ: 5 sec.
    Lλmbdλ: I will bomb you from orbit.
    SlamduncAZ suicided!
    SlamduncAZ: I suffocated to death.
    Lλmbdλ: AND YOU'RE DEAD AND I TAKE NO RESPONSBILITY.
    Kanzuke: There was clearly no avoiding that tragedy.
    Lλmbdλ: Remember that episode of stargate where o'neill just stood in front of that open gate back to earth shouting about how he had 30 seconds of air left until he died.
    Lλmbdλ: Oh wait even o'neill wouldn't pull that shit.

    Lambda217: oh oh i am kanzuke and i love my little pony and now i'll make all the brandonphysics myself cause i know fuckin everything because now i'll make a big pony fighter drone squad and a big fuckin portal ship and i am a fuckin idiot
  • KanzukeKanzuke Registered, Moderator Posts: 181
    They just keep getting worse
    arcticfox978: ...
    arcticfox978: We need to cover space in debris.
    Dragonrott: /advert MMM tasty (rape)
    arcticfox978: Make it look like a huge space battle happen :D.
    Kanzuke: ...dragon...
    Kanzuke: ...you... uh...

    Lambda217: oh oh i am kanzuke and i love my little pony and now i'll make all the brandonphysics myself cause i know fuckin everything because now i'll make a big pony fighter drone squad and a big fuckin portal ship and i am a fuckin idiot
  • Lambda217Lambda217 Registered, Moderator Posts: 534
    My phone is now apparently pushing updates to this thread to my news feed.

    1Kpn5tB.jpg

    Also, I give it a week until one cadet accidentally facerolls their keyboard and triggers all their erotic roleplay binds.


    "I want you to show this world what it means to fear the sky."
  • KanzukeKanzuke Registered, Moderator Posts: 181
    I feel like we could make a separate thread just for these
    Gitsum (STEAM_0:1:28914903) has spawned in the server!
    Kanzuke: Git: 'sum' is not a git command. See 'git --help'.
    Gitsum: english motha fucker do you speak it
    ButterDuck: Nah.
    Gitsum: Uh.
    Kanzuke: I speak only bash.
    Gitsum: Ill have to unbind that.
    Kanzuke: Lol.
    Gitsum: english motha fucker do you speak it
    Gitsum: english motha fucker do you speak it
    Gitsum: english motha fucker do you speak it
    Kanzuke: A Handy bind no doubt.
    Gitsum: Ok its done.
    Gitsum: Sorry bout that.
    Kanzuke: No problem.

    Lambda217: oh oh i am kanzuke and i love my little pony and now i'll make all the brandonphysics myself cause i know fuckin everything because now i'll make a big pony fighter drone squad and a big fuckin portal ship and i am a fuckin idiot
  • LtBrandonLtBrandon Registered, Administrator Posts: 507
    11:12 AM - Kanzuke: I put my GPUs in the wrong way around
    11:12 AM - Kanzuke: It's all gone wrong
    11:12 AM - Łτ•βЃĄЙĐΘИ-: gg
    11:12 AM - Kanzuke is now Offline.

    Kanz did the thing, congratulate him.
    11:20 AM - rcman914: ....How
    11:20 AM - rcman914: how dose he mangae that
    11:20 AM - Łτ•βЃĄЙĐΘИ-: magic
    11:20 AM - rcman914: they onlly go in one way
    *comes on teamspeak and starts ranting about it*
    11:17 AM - njits23: how
    11:17 AM - njits23: can you even do that
    11:17 AM - njits23: they only slot in one way
    11:18 AM - njits23: I like he went offline immediately afterwards
    11:14 AM - Steeveeo: meanwhile https://gfycat.com/LankyDimpledHuia
    11:13 AM - Err: how can you fuck that up
    11:19 AM - Divran: wat
    This is a block of text that can be added to posts you make. There is a 255 character limit.

    Lλmbdλ: donations for coding the space future of diaspora :>

    Get your extra long EVE trial here!
  • SteeveeoSteeveeo Registered, Administrator Posts: 849


    Fabulous Arcticfox for New Loadscreen 2012

    (Also new Gfycat tag, woo!)
  • Lambda217Lambda217 Registered, Moderator Posts: 534
    Jacob2761: /advert IMMA BOUT TO BLOW THIS FUKIN PLACE UP PREPARE FOR BAD DAY (JIHAD)

    Better or worse than space nazis? I'll leave that for you to decide.


    "I want you to show this world what it means to fear the sky."
  • SteeveeoSteeveeo Registered, Administrator Posts: 849
    Quotes so notable, YouTube tried to kill it.

  • SteeveeoSteeveeo Registered, Administrator Posts: 849
    [ES] Frenchie Fry Messiah: !noclip
    Steeveeo: $1.
    [ES] Frenchie Fry Messiah (STEAM_0:0:175206938) Disconnected. (Reason:Disconnect by user.)
    

    I was kidding D:
  • SteeveeoSteeveeo Registered, Administrator Posts: 849
    Slam tries to defend the stapling of large, ugly props onto a ship for more health:

    2F71149F9A071E0AE38D1932EE8E79AD88E796BF

Leave a Comment

BoldItalicStrikethroughOrdered listUnordered list
Emoji
Image
Align leftAlign centerAlign rightToggle HTML viewToggle full pageToggle lights
Drop image/file